Ok, I just need to be honest. I think I have finally figured out relationships and dating. I know, you’re all freaking out. I’m the first person to ever accomplish this. You can thank me later.
Except, I guess I haven’t actually figured it out. But I’m ready to give my two cents! I have had several friends post a link to this blog, and I have to admit, I resonate with it. If you haven’t read the blog, or don’t care to, I’ll paraphrase it for you. Basically the author feels like young women have been sort of “jaded” to believe that we need to “wait” for the man that God has set aside for us, and that women have been told that if we pray hard enough and are in God’s favor, He will give us the desires of our hearts. It’s true that the Bible tells us to “Delight in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our heart” (Psalm 37:4). However, He has our greatest interest in mind, whether that be giving us the things we pray for unceasingly, or withholding those things from us. This has been really resonating with me lately, especially as it pertains to relationships.
Many of my friends have been going through similar experiences as me, and it’s been fascinating to see the common thread among us: we have all fallen into the trap of “waiting” for the men of our dreams. I’m admittedly guilty of this as well. I have realized recently that I’ve become a pro at jumping from one activity in my life to another without really enjoying these activities and living life freely. Until a few months ago, I had always been concerned about impressing my friends, doing and saying things that I know will please people. I’ve always been relatively afraid of experiencing consequences, so I stay away from being too wild. I can learn from others’ mistakes without having to put myself through those experiences. Until recently, that made my life smooth sailing. But I have realized that playing it safe has kept me from really enjoying my life and living each day freely. I can honestly say that I feel like I have been waiting around for something to happen, all the while missing out on the incredible things that ARE happening! This “spell” that has been put on us young, christian women is handicapping the future generation of “go-getters” because we are waiting around for God to give us the desires of our hearts! And when He doesn’t give us what we’ve been praying for (sometimes for YEARS) it alters our perspective of our loving Father. We start to think “maybe He doesn’t actually listen to my prayers… I’m not important enough to be heard.” This is obviously not true, but I have heard from several friends that it’s starting to feel like reality.
Instead of waiting around for God to give us the man of our dreams, shouldn’t we be happy and satisfied in God alone? Life is so much sweeter when I don’t have to please anyone but the Lord. I don’t have to try to split my attention between impressing friends, boys, musicians, etc. All I have to do is please the Lord, and if by being satisfied in Him, He brings me to a partner that appreciates me for who I am and what I’m already doing, then I will be grateful! If not, I can be satisfied in knowing that I’m not going to regret a past of waiting around for something better to happen. I can focus on worshiping the Lord RIGHT now and rejoicing in the incredible blessings that He has placed in my life at this very moment.
So, no, I didn’t REALLY figure it out, but I sure feel much more secure in the fact that God’s got it taken care of. Besides, when a guy DOES come along, the Lord will make it crystal clear that he’s the one 🙂